On the lighter side…INSTALLING A HUSBAND

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INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Technical Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
· Currie Cup 5.0,
· Super 14, 3.2 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system..

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources..)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.


OOh allow me!

Last year I upgraded from girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 and immediately noticed a distinct rise in system requirements. Wife 1.0 demands House 2.1 upgrade with expansions for Children 1.5.

These additions were not indicated as necessary on the Packaging which featured only Large Breasts tm, Easygoing tm and low cost.

Wife 1.0 immediately installed Shopping Deluxe 1.0 which is a debit order!

The new version of Food and Leisure 2.0 which is a completely different application than Food and Leisure 1.0 to 1.9 is more than double in size and completely deleted Exercise 1.0 and Yoga 1.2.

What is more the new user interface: Large Ass 1.0 is very unattractive and completely obscures the original appeal of girlfriend 1.0. Any attempt at changing the desktop theme back to the original Small Ass 1.2 causes complete system failure.

I know it seems superficial to moan about a user interface, but Small Ass 1.2 was the very thing which made me choose this application in the first place from competing brands: Prospects 5.0 and PlentyFish@C.
I am starting to distrust commercial brands and considering opensource software as a viable alternative.
Any suggestions?





might I also suggest steering clear of commands such as “get back in the kitchen” and “cook me dinner.” They appear to unlock a bug that causes some erratic beaviour in the wife 1.0 firmware. this can last anywhere between a couple of hours to the rest of your life.


Dear user, Wife 1.0 has a security default and requires House 2.1 to run at all times. We know House 2.1 is resource intensive; however it does add some stability. Please be advised that Gym 1.0 is available for Large Ass 1.0. It is required that you run Gym 1.0 as frequently as possible.

If Children 1.5 is already installed there is almost no hope to uninstall this software and Parent 2.0 upgrade will be needed and will run for approximately 24 years. If Children 1.5 is not installed yet, we recommend birth-control 1.0 and it will use less recourses then Parent 2.0.

We recommend Healthy-living 1.5 add-on for Food and Leisure 2.0. Gym 1.0 will also restore functions to Exercise 1.0 but may not work for Yoga 1.2. However it is known that Gym 1.0 has the capability to restore Yoga 1.2. The more expensive liposuction 5.1 can restore all Small Ass 1.2 originality but is strenuous on wallet 1.0’s resources.

Open source software like Prospects 5.0 and PlentyFish@C has one fundamental flaw, some may be infected with a virus, others may have hidden baggage or Children 1.5 already installed. Also note that Wife 1.0 has a default program called Lawyer 7.0. Now Lawyer 7.0 will cause wallet 1.0 to crash.


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